God, I have to know
Is it really true?
I refuse to believe in
The stuff they write about you

You always look real depressive
But that´s what makes you cute
Say it ain´t so, say it ain´t so
Have you become a fruit?

Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales
Vaseline bizniz, you know it never fails
Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting
When you´re too pissed to dance and too high to sing

My teenage dream is fucked
Although you don´t know
While I plan for our marriage
You find some handsome guy to blow

Then you speak about it frankly
In an in-depth interview
And I slip into denial
´Cos I know it isn´t true

Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales
Vaseline bizniz, you it never fails
Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting
When you´re too pissed to dance and you´re too stoned to sing

Yeah, I had a bad time
My heart was torn in two
Burned all my posters
Thought I´d never make it through

But I worship another boy-group now
Everybody else sucks!
I even got their autographs
Take that, you backstreet cocks!