The ceiling of my mind is a banqueting hall<br>Thousand cockroaches shift on the floor<br>I had a night in which everything was revealed<br>Cockroaches comprise a truth I'll never speak<br>They were there, and knew my name<br>Don't let me forget<br><br>I'm sad, I feel the future is hopeless<br>I'm bored, I'm guilty and I am being punished<br>I've lost interest in other people<br>I cannot make decisions, I can't sleep, I can't think<br>I cannot love, overcome my lonelyness, my fear, my disgust<br>I would like to kill myself<br>In darkness!<br><br>Four-forty-eight desparation visits, I shall speak no more<br>I don't want to die<br>I've become so depressed by the fact of my mortality<br>I don't want to live, I don't want to die!<br><br>I will drown in disphoria<br>In the cold black pond of the self<br>The pit of my immaterial mind<br>How can I return to form?<br>Not a life I could countenance<br>They will love me for that which destroys me<br><br>The sword in my dreams<br>The dust of my thoughts<br>The sickness that breeds in the folds of my mind<br>Ask me why!<br><br>I shall hang myself (4x)<br><br>Sertraline: insomnia worsened<br>Citalopram: morning tremors<br>Prozac: weight loss, homicidal thoughts, believes consultant is the Antichrist<br>Thorazine: slept calmer<br><br>My body decompensates, my body flies apart<br>Like a bird on the wing in a swollen sky<br>How can I return to form?<br>My mind is torn away by lightning<br>As it flies apart from the thunder behind<br><br>Four-forty-eight desparation visits<br>I've become so depress by the fact of my mortality<br>Warm darkness, which soaks my eyes, I know no sin<br><br>The capture, the rapture, the rupture of a soul<br>Validate me, witness me, see me, love me<br>My final submission my final defeat<br>Watch me vanish, watch me vanish, vanish<br>I'm in my right mind<br>I can see myself