Tommy stutters comically when he says a lotta things Mommy does the shopping Daddy's diggin through the laundry bins he likes to try on Mommy's things with his hair up in her bobby pins The neighbors very neighborly occasionally takin peaks at his niece while she takes a pee I heard the plumbers found a finger when they fixed the basement leak
So pick up the phone Fix up your lawn Turn the TV on There's nothin wrong, Middle America I love you
Old Mr. Wilkinson killed a man, drunk from the bar hit him with the front of his car drug him so far there were nothin' but parts for hundreds of yards Those big damn power lines will drive you out your mind Edna sits in the shower sometimes for hours and cries whenever she forgets to tell Howard goodbye
So pick up the phone Fix up your lawn Turn the TV on There's nothin wrong, Middle America I love you
Spoken softly but Mommy's body shook dropped the coffee cup I guess the coffee wasn't strong enough Becca was a quiet girl behind the wheel with a mouthful of diet pills a couple beers and some stuff for your sinuses Dancing in the fire smashing all of the appliances The psychiatrist said "The Zoloft had some side effects..."
So pick up the phone Fix up your lawn Turn the TV on There's nothin wrong, Middle America We love you
Pick up your phone Fix up your lawn Turn the TV on There's nothing wrong, Miss America We love you