I was sittin' at home just a listenin' to my radio
An' along came a fella who apparently had been on the go
Well he started in a braggin' bout everywhere he'd been
And there isn't any place in this whole world he hasn't seen
You ask me where I've been and I'm a going to tell you Pard
Why I ain't even been outside the gate in my backyard

I ain't been anywhere Joe ain't been anywhere Joe
I didn't want to go so I guess I'll never know Joe
An old stick in the mud Bud I ain't been anywhere

I ain't seen London Paris Washington Chicago
Bombay Mandalay Calgary Cashmere
Thailand Ireland Iceland Greenland
Halifax Poland Switzerland Scotland
Liverpool Dry Gulch Tombstone Moscow
Carlsbad Leningrad Stalingrad too bad

I ain't been anywhere Joe ain't been anywhere Joe...

Siam Amsterdam Oslo Rotterdam
Birmingham Tokyo Melbourne Saigon
Trinidad Hong Kong Florida Reykjavik
Copenhagen Berlin Congo Key West
Petersburg Wallisburg Cherbourg Luxemburg
Chalush Toronto Cripple Creek I'm sick

I ain't been anywhere Joe ain't been anywhere Joe...

Kumquat Limerick Inverness Loch Ness
Swansea Cuanda Colombo Gold Coast
Edinburgh Singapore Galveston Okinawa
Blarney Killarney Karachi Pyongyang
Warsaw Tarancon Down Libya
Goose Bay Labrador Outer Space no place

I ain't been anywhere Joe ain't been anywhere Joe...

Ohio Toledo Wexford Frankfurt
Silverton Norfolk Alamo Sabula
Brighton Kiowa Denmark Dover
Chalis Rio Lima Philippines
Hebrides Hawaii Portland Cleveland
Leipzig Laramie Horsehair nowhere

I ain't been anywhere Joe ain't been anywhere Joe...

Wait a minute Horsehair why doggone it that's my hometown
So I guess I must'a been there huh
I ain't been anywhere