I met your friends at the bar last night
I think the round of limoncello won 'em over
I said we're perfect, hell we hardly ever fight
I told 'em you're a queen
I'm just a lucky joker
Things are goin' great, yeah, we communicate
Lovin' you is easier than ever
I pray you never go
There's something you should know
I hope you stay forever 'cause

If you ever leave me, girl, I'll get a face tattoo
Steal a truck, end up on the six o'clock news
If you say goodbye, hell, I'll dye my hair
Crash your birthday party in my underwear
Hey, I hope you never have to see the day
But if you ever walk away, well
Everybody you know, everybody I know's
Gonna know you fell in love with a psycho

I met your mom, your dad, I met your older brother
Even your bestie says
we're perfect for each other
They say they love me, and they think that I'm the best
They think they know me
but they don't know me as your ex 'cause

If you ever leave me, girl, I'll get a face tattoo
Steal a truck, end up on the six o'clock news
If you say goodbye, hell, I'll dye my hair
Crash your birthday party in my underwear
Hey, I hope you never have to see the day
But if you ever walk away, well
Everybody you know, everybody I know's
Gonna know you fell in love with a psycho

If you ever leave me, if you ever say goodbye
I'll make the world say
"Why'd you ever fuck with that guy?
Why'd you ever fuck with that guy?"

If you ever leave me, girl, I'll get a face tattoo
Steal a truck, end up on the six o'clock news
If you say goodbye, hell, I'll dye my hair
Crash your birthday party in my underwear
Hey, I hope you never have to see the day
But if you ever walk away, well
Everybody you know, everybody I know's
Gonna know you fell in love with a psycho