Looking at the present's fucking sad
Yes, I tried the blue pill
Five times what I should have had

And no, I'm not ok, but nothing's broke
Maybe god will let me die
when my dreams go up in smoke

They're out there for me
I know it
Too far away to see
But I'm always moving toward it
It's getting hard to breathe
I don't know why
The air looks clear to me
But the atmosphere is sordid

I'm not about to complain
That's too much time and energy
Too long a walk to try to turn back

And I'm not the same
It's plain enough to see
But some of us are living in the past

Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad
Yes, I tried the blue pill
Five times what I should have had

Jumped out of fire into frostbite
Arms too weak to climb
But still too strong to let go

Maybe god will let me die
when my dreams go up in smoke

Happy new year from the ashes
I gave my lungs a good telling
My organs forty lashes
My calendar is black
I'd make new year's resolutions
But the universe is going on attack

Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad
Yes, I tried the blue pill
Five times what I should have had

Jumped out of fire into frostbite
Been drowning inside out
Since before I woke

Maybe god will let me die
when my dreams go up in smoke

Feed the fire all you want, you won't take me
Knock me down all you want, watch it save me
Somehow I'm moving on, and it pains me
They all may want me gone, let it chase me

I'm not about to complain
That's too much time and energy
Too long a walk to try to turn back

And today was the same
I nearly dodged a bullet
But the universe is going on attack

Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad
Yes, I tried the blue pill
Five times what I should have had

Jumped out of fire into frostbite
Been drowning inside out
Since before I woke

Maybe god will let me die
when my dreams go up in smoke
Maybe god will let me die
when my dreams go up in smoke