I was born in a bar in '45
It's sure a wonder this boy's alive
I feel no pain but i'm getting so dry
Take me to a brewery and leave me there to die
I went to chicago they put me in a bed
I turned bright yellow they thought that i was dead
For the next six months they said avoid temptation
I said fine i'll drink in moderation

One bottle a day - of scotland's finest

If i learned to love and i learned to sing
I would know a little bit of everything
I put a message in a bottle i was stranded on a rock
Send another gallon 'cos i'm running out of stock
I can see you in my little bottle
You are laughing and i am too
When you're empty and i'm gone
Then they will laugh
And throw us both away