If you want a dead body and the stores are closed,
Who can you turn to? Everybody knows...
It’s IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.

He'll hurry down to the graveyard and take it.
If they don’t have the kind that you want, he'll make it.
Oh, IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.

How I love that beady little eye.
My pal Iggy ... ain’t no greedy guy.
When life don’t go ...the way that you planned,
He’ll be the first one to give you a hand.
Get it? A hand?

You can wash your face, and brush your fangs,
But when you take a bath, who'll scrub your wings?
Oh, IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.

He's got a heart o’ gold... and a lotta brains.
He keeps 'em in the closet with his Sunday chains.
Oh, IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.

Down in the cellar...diggin' in the mud...
He's a little batty, but he's in my blood.
Oh, IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.

Gettin’ good help now’days is a hassle.
Who puts an apron on and tidies up the castle?
Who's happy sleepin'... under my bed?
Who can I depend on to help me get ahead?
Get it? A head?

He’s got a hunch... and he may be right...
We'll meet two nice girls and take 'em out for a bite.
Oh, IGOR. WO-ho-ho-HO-HO-HO...
Good old IGOR.