It all started
When we were just kids
I dont remember
But Im sure that it did
Why is my left on my left
My right on my right
Im sure theres a monster
In my closet tonight

There are things I cant figure
What are they for
Like nicotine, nintendo
or nuclear war
Theyre there to addict us
Maintain or scare
County state and world
Only three kinds of fair

Jesus and Ruger
Theyre both straight shooters
Islam and Napalm
Mean something to someone
My chakras are blocked
But im learning tai chi
So pitch what youre selling
And leave me be
Cause Im just fine by me

My bank needs a roll
And so does my rock
I go down to the river
Out here when its hot
Down by the waters
Ill cool off my heels
Solve the worlds problems
With a rod and reel

Tonight I cant sleep
Thats the reason for this song
The church bell outside
Done hit the third gong
Im just a weary traveler
No bags in my hand
Right where I sit
Is where Ill make a stand