staring down the barrel of another holiday
force-fed a christmas carol of another time, another place, another way
what child is this who, who laid to rest
on mary’s lap is sleeping
well, what child is this who, who feels so blessed
yet cannot keep from weeping

pre-chorus
i should be tending to the horses who intend to cart my joy
from now into forever, i’m just a lowly unstable boy
i’m a failure on a journey, but my strength is gathering
and it’s only fair that i make it there, yeah, i’m on my way to mattering

chorus
but all the way, on the way, i couldn’t contain my fear
my lips only look rosy cuz my skin looks so white in here
shred up my fingers on this bottle cap that won’t twist off
aching for the syrup that could cure me of this hacking cough

ask me how i’m feeling and i’ll say i’m okay
though my mind is reeling, can’t think of anything better to say
is that what you get for running a yellow light—
piss full of regret and a fix that doesn’t last
i'm a super-cali-fragile piece of fucked up à la i need a spoonful of something fast

pre-chorus

chorus

bridge
stupid fucking world of mine
you keep moving the fucking finish line
you trick me over here, you hide it over there
you start another game when you see me starting to care, well
i don’t expect you to hear me say
i’m gonna chew my way out of your lab rat cage someday