Your fallen tears have called to me, so here comes my sweet remedy.
I know what every princess needs for her to live life happily.
With.. just a wave of my magic wand your troubles will soon be gone.
With a flick of the wrist in just a flash, you land a prince with a ton of cash,
A high priced dress made by mice no less!
Some crystal glass pumps and almost dressed!
Worries will vanish your soul will cleanse
Confide in your very own furniture friends
We'll help you set a new fashion trend!

I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great!
The kind of gal a prince would date
They'll write your name on the bathroom wall
MALE VOICE: For happy ever after- give Fiona a call!

A sporty carriage to ride in style. A sexy man-boy chauffer Kyle.
Vanish your blemishes, tooth decay.. celulite thighs will fade away
A hool and a hey! Have a Bichon Frise
And oh, what the hey... have a Bichon Frise!

Nip and tuck here and there, to land that prince with the perfect hair.
Lipstick liners, shadow blush! to get that prince with a sexy tush.
Lucky day, hunk buffet
For the lipstick a roll in the hay
You can swoon on the moon with the prince to this tune

Don't be drab, you'll be fab
Your prince will have rock-hard abs
Cheese souflee
*something unintelligible, maybe Valentine's Day?*
Have some chicken fricassee

(chorus)