O weary me
I'm broke as a man can be
My bills are all due, I got holes in my shoe
Bill collectors, they won't let me sleep

If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing
I could make cash registers ring
What a sight to behold her, she could sit on my shoulder
And whimper in harmony

If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing
What a wonderful world it would be
I could take her to the border and teach her how to order
Margaritas and Fajitas Senoritas would bring

The circus is coming to town
The telephone lines are down
While the tight rope they're stretchin', my puppy is fetchin',
The tin cans all scattered around...

If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing
The whole would live in peace
Instead of them fightin', everyone would be writin'
Love letters to Senators and Police

If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing
What brave new world it would be
I could take her to China, on a big Jet Airliner
And Bark in the Park 'till the Freedom Bells Ring

If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing
There'd be no more sorrow and grief
I could take her to the border and teach her how to order
Guacamole and Posole, and feel Holy and Free!