Somebody introduced me
To a member of the club
I think that they confused me
With some other rub-a-dub-a-dub
Now, I work on the fifth floor
And nothing is my fault
I take advice like margueritas
With a heavy grain of salt
I always wake up in the night
Wondering if I’m doing it right
And if I had my way
I’d be getting on this flight tonight
And in the morning I’d be
Lying on a beach in the sun
Lying to my family and friends
Telling them that I have begun
Trying to find the means to an end
Lying on a beach in the sun
Lying just to cover my ass
Lying in the sun on the beach
Burning like the girls in the grass

I should be working on my manners
But I’m working on my website
All you star-spangled scanners
Trying to photocopy moonlight
Staring at the computer screen
Feeling so alone and obscene
Getting restless
Getting randy
Getting mean
Lying on a beach in the sun
Looking for a little romance
The temperature’s a hundred and one
Everybody take off your pants
Lying on a beach in the sun
Trying to figure out what to do
Lying in the sun on the beach
I realized I did not have a clue

I’m full of hocus pocus
And I’m slower than molasses
I’m coming in and out of focus
Like a magic pair of glasses
I go down to the staff room at lunchtime
I’m like a joke but there’s never a punch line
And if you step on my toes I’ll blow up just like a landmine
Give me a reason I’ll be
Lying on a beach in the sun
Nobody but my money and me
Is this your definition of fun
I’m bored it’s only twenty past three (You should go for a swim)
I’ll still be clinging to the company line
There’s sharks out there I think I saw a fin
Or maybe I’m just losing my mind

Somebody take a memo
We’re all on automatic
When I get it back together
We’re gonna need a little static
Somebody check my pulse
Slap me in the face
Show me what I’m made of
Get me out of this place
It’s like a weird technological dream
Watching buddies turn into machines
We never get our hands dirty
But paradise is never this clean
Come on
Lying on a beach in the sun
Don’t want to get burned to a crisp
You want something to remember me by
You can save it on a floppy disk
So long
Farewell
You can kiss my ass goodbye
If I don’t jump ship right now
I’ll never figure out how to fly