When my friends said 'don't let your heart rule your head', I didn't really know what to do
I thought 'that'll be the day' but now I have to say, I can see their point of view
I was in need of a cuddle but I've had too much trouble, and the rewards have been too few
When they said 'start again' I should have used my brain, but I didn't and I'm lumbered with you

Sheep go 'baa' and creeps go far, but I'm going out of my mind

I think I took the wrong tack and made a rod for my own back, because usually I'm pretty astute
But I was so full of booze I felt quite confused, in fact I was confused as a newt
My heart was just a vacuum 'til I saw you in that back room, looking as if you need someone too
I should have been led by what my friends said, but I wasn't and I'm lumbered with you

(Bridge)

I think I've got a fair moan you're eating me out of house and home, and I mean that quite literally
It was hunger made you start it but you could have left the carpet, now I've kissed goodbye to my settee
You see my front door's too small and you're stuck there in the hall, I can't get you to take you to the zoo
And you keep getting bigger if I'd a gun I'd pull the trigger, but I haven't and I'm lumbered with you
I said, I haven't and I'm lumbered with you