When I was just knee high to a puddle duck
Santa Claus brought me a little toy truck
And I drove ten thousand miles in our front yard
Well I said right then when I get grown
I'd have me a real truck all my own
And made it too but boy I'll tell you it's hard

Tween dodging scales to make up time
Gettin' caught ten times outta nine
This eighteen wheeler's makin' a wreck out of me
I got tickets from all the best towns around
And when I made the terminal today I found
Some smart joker's done got my seniority
[ steel - guitar ] My little lady and unions they're just alike
About changing their minds and going on strike
And the worry I do about them two ain't no fun
Well I was headed home from Portland Maine
When the Uniuon started having labor pains
Danged if she didn't too and now I've gotta son

But I'll bet one thing that kid of mine
Won't ever get at Christmas time
It's a little toy truck like Santa Claus brought to me
And if he ever mentions having one around
I'll tan his little hide till he can't sit down
No more gear jammers in this here family