MARK
Enter Tom Collins
Computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist
Who ran naked through the Parthenon

MARK AND COLLINS
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Look -- it's Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

ROGER
Oh hi

COLLINS
'Oh hi' after seven months?

ROGER
Sorry

COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK AND ROGER
Oh holy night

ROGER
You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?

ROGER
I was waiting for you
Don't you know?

COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER
No flow

COLLINS
Gentlemen
Our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!

ANGEL
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!

MARK
You earned this on the street?

ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said
"Dahling, be a dear -- Haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"

"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

We agreed on a fee
A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free
And a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here
That dog is now in doggy hell

After an hour -- Evita --
In all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet

Sing it!

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me