There was an old sailor, who sat on a rock,
Waving and shaking his big hairy...

Fist at the ladies next door in The Ritz,
Who taught all the children to play with their...

Ice-creams and marbles and all things galore,
Along comes a lady who looks like a...

Decent young woman, who walks like a duck,
She said she’s invented a new way to...

Bring up the children, to sew and to knit,
The boys in the stable are shovelling...

Litter and paper, from yesterday’s hunt,
And old dirty Dread is having some...

Cake in the parlour, and singing this song,
If you think it’s dirty, you’re bloody well wrong!

(Instrumental)

Susan was a nice girl, with plenty of class,
Who turned the boys’ heads when she wiggled her...

Eyes at the young boys, as girls sometimes do,
To make it quite plain she was ready to...

Go for a walk, or a stroll in the grass,
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of...

Chicken and ice-cream, and lots of roast duck,
And after this meal, she was ready to...

Go for a walk, or a stroll on the dock,
With any young boy with a sizeable...

Roll of big bills, and a pretty good front,
And if he talked softly, she’d show him her...

Little pet dog, who is subject to fits,
And maybe let him grab a hold of her...

Little white hand, with a moment so quick,
That she would lean over and tickle his...

Chin, while she showed what she once learned in France,
And ask the poor chap to take up his under...

Pants, while she sang of the wild Kneesdon shore,
Oh, whatever she was,

(Spoken)
She wasn’t a bad girl really, this Susan. I’ve had better, but mind you, she wasn’t THAT bad.