Hello there

I'm so glad you could join me today
I know you've been feeling a lot of stress
And frustration lately
So I'm happy you've decided
To take some time to relax and to reset
You won't need anything special
For this exercise other than your body, your breath
And a pair of stainless steel slip-joint pliers
That you can set to the side for now
So, find a comfortable place to sit
And let's begin by taking a full, deep
Nourishing breath in and a long, relaxing exhale out
As you gently close the eyes
Continuing to breathe deeply
And consciously, allowing your lungs
To fill up to thеir capacity as you scan your body for tension
Starting at the crown of the hеad
And working slowly down the body
Simply notice where there might be
Some residual tightness left over
From the stress of your day
Relax the jaw, shrug the shoulders
Rotate the torso gently from side to side
And imagine that you are dusting off the noise
Of your busy, active life
Inhaling through the nose, exhaling out the mouth
It's natural for the mind to wander while we do this
And while our thoughts will certainly drift and scatter
We need only notice and not be discouraged
That the mind is not calm or clear
I like to imagine each train of thought
As a rambunctious toddler with dirty feet
Running into the forest
I smile gently and let them go
But I don't chase after them into the woods
Because I know they will be eaten or murdered
And that makes me sad
Bringing our attention once again
Back to the natural rhythm of our breath
Let's dive into the focus of this meditation: the mouth
As we open wide and close a few times
To stretch out the jaw muscles
We can reflect on just how much traffic
This busy section of the body has to deal with every day
We are often told not to touch our face
So I invite you to be a little bit bad
And go ahead and firmly
Dig into the lower jawline with your fingertips
Massaging in a circular pattern, traveling
From under the ears and towards the chin
Isn't it funny how something so simple
Can feel so... delicious?
Inhaling through the nose, exhaling out the mouth
Now, grab the pair of pliers and open wide
Like you are about to eat a very large
And very tasty submarine sandwich

Quickly locate one of your top back molars
With your tongue-it doesn't matter which side
Then, carefully direct the pliers inside the mouth
Until you can feel a firm and steady grip on that molar
Take a few very deep breaths
In and out through the mouth, drying out
Any moisture on the enamel of the tooth
So that the jaws of the pliers can enjoy
A sure and steady grip
Now as you take a long, full inhalation
Tighten your grip on the handle
As much as you can and, while you exhale
Wrench the pliers with all the force
You can summon up and away and down
And repeat this until you hear the crunch of the bone
As it breaks and separates from the spongy flesh of the gums
You'll likely notice an unfamiliar sensation
One that you might describe as excruciating
But don't let that disturb you from the task at hand
Continue to breathe deliberately
In and out through the mouth
Tightening the grip on the handle
And wrenching, tugging
And twisting the pliers on the exhale until the molar is set free
Working our way from left to right in a steady
Deliberate fashion, notice the throbbing of the nerves
As they pulse and quiver over the coppery pool of blood
Filling up inside the mouth
A casual tilt of the head will empty you out
So we can reinsert the pliers with a nice
Strong grip as we work on the next tooth
You'll quickly notice how different
The shapes of our teeth are
And you'll naturally need to adjust your technique
As you move from molars to premolars or bicuspids
To canines and incisors, which can be so darn slippery
It might be hard to focus at this point
As shock is likely to set in

Please, be patient
Take all the time you need
And remember to come back to the deep
Rhythmic assurance of the breath
Inhaling, exhaling
Inhale, exhale
In and out, in and out