Don't you disrespect me little man!
Don't you derogate or deride!
You're in my world now
Not your world

And I got friends on the other side!
That's an echo, gentlemen
Just a little something we have here in Louisiana
A little parlor trick, don't worry

Sit down at my table
Put your minds at ease
If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please
I can read your future
I can change it 'round some, too
I'll look deep into your heart and soul
(You do have a soul, don't you, Lawrence?)

Make your wildest dreams come true!
I got voodoo, I got hoodoo
I got things I ain't even tried!
And I got friends on the other side

The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well!
The cards, the cards, just take three
Take a little trip into your future with me!

Now you, young man, are from across the sea
You come from two long lines of royalty
I'm a royal myself on my mother's side
Your lifestyle's high
But your funds are low

You need to marry a lil' honey whose daddy got dough!
Mom and dad cut you off, huh, playboy?
Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitchin' ties you down
You just wanna be free
Hop from place to place
But freedom takes green!

It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need
And when I looked into your future
It's the green that I see!
On you little man, I don't wanna waste much time

You been pushed around all your life
You been pushed around by your
Mother and your sister and your brother
And if you was married

You'd be pushed around by your wife
But in your future, the you I see
Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
Shake my hand
Come on boys
Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?
Yes

Are you ready?
(Are you ready?)
Are you ready?
Transformation central!
(Transformation central!)
Reformation central!
(Reformation central!)
Transmogrification central!

Can you feel it?
You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right!
I hope you're satisfied
But if you ain't
Don't blame me!

You can blame my friends on the other side!
(You got what you wanted)
(But you lost what you had)