I own a secondhand furniture store
And I think my prices are fair
Of course, this real cheap guy I know came in one day
And he saw this chair he wanted to buy, but he wouldn't
Claimed the price was too high
So I looked him straight in his eyes, and this is my reply

If I can't sell it, I'mma sit down on it
Why should I give it away?
Now darling, if you want it
You've gone have to buy

And I mean just what I say
Now how'd you like to find this
Waitin' at home for you every night
Only been used once or twice
But it's still nice and tight
Huh!

So if I can't sell it
Darling I'mma keep sittin' on it
I don't see the need to give it to you
Now, you can't find a better pair of legs in town
And a back like this, huh, not for miles around
And that is why, if I can't sell it
I'mma keep sittin' on it

Why should I give it away?
Because it's made for comfort
Built for wear and tear
Where else would you find
Such an easy chair!
Ha-ha!

Whoa... if I can't sell it
Whoa... I'mma keep sittin' on it
I don't see the need to give it away
Oh because it's lush, plush, slick and sleak
Darling, a high class piece like this
At any price
Is cheap!

So if I can't sell it
I'mma keep sittin' on it
I really don't see the need to give it away
Now look at this nice bottom
Ain't it easy on the eye?
Guaranteed to support any weight or size!
Hoah! So if I can't sell it
Darling I'mma keep sittin' on it
I don't feel the need to give it away

Now, I have really had my fill
Of folks always comin' around
With their hands stuck out
Want something
Don't want to give up nothing
Now, if you want this
Put your hand in your stash
And give me some cash
If you want something for free
Go to the Salvation Army
Don't come runnin' to me
Now this is not Saint Vincent de Paul's place
This here is Latrice's place
Read. my. lips
No free trips!
Goodbye