Lauren O'connell

1988

Lauren O'connell


There are four whole people in this house
And I'm the last one awake again
And tomorrow we'll be biting nails
And biting tongues to higher stakes again
I am thinking if I just don't sleep
The morning won't sneak up on me
As just another yesterday again

But I was brilliant for just one day
In 1988
I didn't have to talk, I didn't have to think
They flushed my sins right down a sink
Ten fingers and ten toes, and you're okay
Yeah I think that's what they say
Well how about today?

I think the world has got my number
Oh my God, there's digits in my eyes
I think that I've been dancing 'round
The brightest rooms in a cellophane disguise
Everybody still remembers
Things that I said last September
Oh, but worst of all, so do I

But I was a stranger for just one day
Born with the cleanest slate
My mother loved me before she knew me
Gave me a name that didn't suit me
But hey that's okay
I've kept it anyway
What if I threw it away?

And to me God's just a metaphor
A metaphor for everything that's strange
I take his name in vain a lot
But I'm not sure just what that means these days
Sometimes I wish that I were still religious
Along with a lot of other wishes
But I don't think that God would know my name

But I was forgiven for just one day
When I still knew how to pray
And all the words were etched in gold
On the little Bible that I stole
From my teacher in second grade
The one I didn't mean to take
Oh what would Jesus say?

And things were perfect for a time
In 1999
I was eleven years old, and we drove south
Yeah, down to my grandfather's house
And everything was fine
It was right before he died
We were all so goddamn fine
We were all so goddamn fine

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