I heard he was gonna marry some girl from Denver
Then my sister came over, had the Sunday paper with her
There was the girl on the social page
Lookin' in love and all engaged
We decided she don't take a very good picture

It may be my family's redneck nature
Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger
But I don't like her
She may be an angel who spends all winter
Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner
A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner
But I really hate her
I'll think of a reason later

I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with a marker
Childish, yes, but she made such a thin little target
I couldn't be happier on my own
But I've got the slightest of a jealous bone
And seein' her with him tends to enlarge it

It may be my family's redneck nature
Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger
But I don't like her
She may be an angel who spends all winter
Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner
A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner
But I really hate her
I'll think of a reason later

Inside her head may lay all the answers
For curin' diseases from baldness to cancer
Salt of the earth and a real good dancer
But I really hate her
I'll think of a reason later

[Spoken] Well, it was just one tooth
Did I mention I don't particularly care for her?
She makes me sick...