Old Godzilla was hoppin' around
Tokyo City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Bat Grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
And preceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
Then Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaqile O'Neil
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
But before he could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And pulled an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Becuase Optimus Prime came to save the day

[Chorus]
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln comes back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip
Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
And he jumped in the air and he did a summersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to polevault
Onto Optimus Prime but they collided in the air
and they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare

(Chorus)

Angels sang out in an immacular chorus
And down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Night
And Bennito Mussilini and the Blue Meanie
And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator
Captain Kirk and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan
All came out of nowhere lightening fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
While civilians looking on in total awe
The fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed but eventually
The Champion stood -- The rest saw their better
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

(Chorus)