Everywhere I go in this town,
people recognize me.
Probably 'cause they seen me singing
these songs on TV.
In the last few weeks I've found
a gold-mine of exposure,
my career is taking off,
I'm a celebrity.

The guy I buy my grape-fruit from
smiles at me every morning.
All the tellers at my bank
are at my beckon call.
Harry owns the shop in town
where I take my dry cleaning,
I gave him
my 8x10 to hang up on his wall.

Pretty soon I'll be a name
in each and every household.
My life-long dream is coming true
it's happening for me.
On the street the people stare
and I can hear the whisper,
"There he goes there's whats-his-name,
we saw him on TV"

I try to be polite and friendly
down-to-earth and normal
so when I walk away they'll say
"he's just like you and me"
But there is a pressure
it's so hard to act natural
when milions see you every week
sing these songs on TV.

The snooty waitress in the wine bar
is acting pretty friendly
fending off there friendly females
is pretty damn tricky.
The 8x10s on Harry's wall
are stars you all have heard of,
there's Franky Vaughn,
The three degrees,
Chaz and Dave and me.

All my life all I wanted
was to be real famous
on a surname basis
with a lot of matridees.
I'm the talk and toast of this town
listen to them mumur
"there he goes, there's whats-his-name
we saw him on TV"

I'd like to take the time right now
to thank all of the people
to hired me to write and sing
these great songs on TV.
It's advertising for myself
I guess by now you've noticed
almost all the songs I write
somehow pretain to me.

If you want an autograph,
I can understand that.
I can be reached at this adress,
pencils ready, here we go.
Whats-his-name 125 Parkway, London, NW-1
An 8x10 like Harry has
will cost a little extra
they're in demmand
they're going fast
send your request now.

London is a lonely town
but I am never lonely.
Everybody knows me
it's clear and plain to see.
Yesterday a guy walked up
he tapped me on the shoulder
he said, "Are you whats-his-name?
I saw you on TV."
Yeah he said, "Are you whats-his-name?
I saw you on TV."