Dos Factotum
Fresh from a court runnin' from a bar tab, drivin' drunk with car lag in need of a barfbag/
I left my smart half on the hard path to recovery, with hangover hovering i took a bath in the bubbly/
I woke up in the trash, cold clutchin' a flask, with a wino askin' for some from me, but there's no stuff in my stash/
I'm so stuck in a glass but insist on throwin' rollin' rocks, shades drawn, doors closed and locked, hopin' no one knocks/
I'm in a lonely spot, nowhere, and i want some some stoli shots, like i don't care if my aa sponsor knows or not/
I'll spend a week soaked in scotch on venice beach with the vagrants, then i'm...leavin' for vegas but i'm penny free/
And owe a lot of dough to spot my landlord and old lady liks, it's like i said, she likes to collect she don't babysit/
"when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch) i'm the lush president of the wino section/
Since you find no lessons in this lonely life, it's like "shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/
(scratch) "when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch) i been at war with lady liks and can't find no weapons/
Or find protection on my coldest nights, it's like "shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/ (scratch)
So basically, my drinkin' schedule's 8 to 3, but wait and see i bet you i can make the rate increase/
Until i start sprayin' my vomit on my old navy fleece. so sayeth the logic, so say the sheep/
My next commandment, to drink a case a piece at least to set the standard/
A buncha drunks that's dead from cancer/
Leave your 12 steps abandoned on the way to the bar/
A convoy that's on joy juice racin' their cars/
Drinkin' grain from a jar, that's moonshine to the leigh men in bars, and soon i'm hearin' angels with harps/
Perhaps it's beepin' horns and i'm crossin' lanes in my car, and sleepin' on the job but made it so far/
I'm thinkin' ain't this bizarre, it's kinda freezin', tryna find the reason, when i realized my gates were ajar/
I took the nestea plunge straight to the tar, but never jumped, then i awoke in a pool of my puke where i had left my lunch/
"when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch) i'm the lush president of the wino section/
Since you find no lessons in this lonely life, it's like "shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/
(scratch) "when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch)
I been at war with lady liks and can't find no weapons/
Or find protection on my coldest nights, it's like "shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/ (scratch)
I was born of beer kegs in college dorms and molotov mixtures, fists up, breakin' bottles off niggas/
Make escape doin' the hundred yard dash, comin' from a car crash, that's what i call a runnin' bar tab/
Back to the lab when an undercover car passed after my ass, dropped to my knees and my hands in the grass/
A straight shot to the trees beside my door, but i'd forgotten my keys, plus i had too much brandy to last/
So i hopped to my feet, my hands were both clasped stoppin' the stream. if i puked the cop would probably see/
But he was watchin' me flee on wobbily feet, at least that's what i'm thinkin'. that's when he tackled me stagnant and stinkin'/
I said, "no way occifer, i haven't been drinkin'", then he said, "you're under arrest kid, and we're goin' back to the precinct/
"when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch)
I'm the lush president of the wino section/
Since you find no lessons in this lonely life, it's like "shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/
(scratch) "when i get bent, i must represent, no question" (scratch)
I been at war with lady liks and can't find no weapons/
Or find protection in this lonely life, it's like
"shorty let me tell you 'bout my only vice"/ (scratch)