It's a happy new year
I'm making guacamole
You couldn't even pick up the fucking phone and call me
I don't like my tee shirt
I don't like my blue jeans
I don't like my attitude, it's gonna be a party

It's a happy new year
Last year was so stupid
Most of us were drunk and even more of us were puking
Although I heard a rumor
Something about bad shrimp
Don't know how I made it
Up the stairs to your apartment
Oh, I remember it
Oh, climbing up to bed

And that's not all that I'm forgetting
It's a new year, the last one's ending
Don't know how I ever made it out
Here's to nothing ever changing
If it were, then I'd be parting ways
With all the bad habits I've found
But I still hang around
I still hang around

It's a happy new year
I'm eating guacamole
You kissed me at midnight
'cause you thought that I looked lonely
I don't like my outfit
I guess it's not important
'cause I like your four track
And the things you record on it

It's the time of year now
To keep your close ones closest
We'll be friends forever
And I don't care if you know it
It's a happy new year
Unlike all the rest
Feels like I am changing
And I know it's for the best
Oh, I remember that

And that's not all that I'm pretending
It's a new year, the last one's ending
All the guacamole that I made browned
Here's to always, everchanging
Circumstances we're arranging
Throwing all our cautions to the ground
They only weigh you down
I won't let you down

But hey, did you know
You can check the time
Your call reaches the other line?
Hey, did you know
That I know you lied?
So, board it up
Don't even try
Last year is ending just in time
I got out alive

It's a happy new year
Here I am again
Writing in my car
And this time I can't pretend
That we are friends, we're not friends
Friends don't do the things we did
And the ones you've done since then
Make me think we've never been

When is this night gonna end?
Are you lying in her bed?
All these questions in my head
Where the whiskey at again?
You are discombobulated
When you show up at my door
Leaving glitter on my floor
But I don't like you anymore
I don't like you anymore
I don't like you anymore
I don't like you anymore