So I switched over to the other guys after I saw their ads
Y'know, I use the phone a lot for my home business
And I wanna get the best deal I can
So I opened up the phone bill ...
I swear to god I thought it was a typo
I mean, where are the big savings???

If you come back now, we'll switch you for free

I had some problems with my bill
So I called up them up
I wanted to ask them some questions
Y'know, talk about my bill
They put me on hold
I couldn't even talk to a person
I mean who has time for this?

If you come back now, we'll switch you for free

So I was changing this light bulb
And the phone rings
Down the ladder I come
And they ask me if I want to switch phone companies
Promise me big savings
I asked them hey can you put it in writing?
And they wouldn't
Why would I change from AT&T?

If you come back now, we'll switch you for free

So I hooked up with the other guys
But it just wasn't the same quality as I was used to
Y'know, with AT&T
But I thought it would be too expensive to switch back
Then I found it it doesn't cost anything
Now I'm sorry I ever left

If you come back now, we'll switch you for free

I dialed Phoenix and I kept getting Fiji
Sooganakapeeci!
What?
So I dialed again.
Sooganakapeeci!
So I called the operator and tried to get credit for the call.
I'm sorry sir, you're not dealing with AT&T
Well I am now!