If you have to be nobody,
And you're bound to be nobody
In a world where the somebodies are few,
Then you might as well be nothing
With an air and a flair,
Then the nobodies might look at you.

If you can't be a hero
And are doomed to be a zero
In a world where zeroes are the rule,
Then you might as well be nothing
Who is wild, wild, wild
And wear cap and bells like a fool.

A barefoot nothing,
A nothing with a beard,
A nobody who talks
In a language that is weird,
A nobody who capers
And sings like a clown,
Well, somebody might listen
In this nobody town,
And if we can't make headlines
We can liven up the breadlines
With a fine old antic piroette,
So come along with me
And we'll see who can be
The craziest nobody yet,
The wildest in the nowhere set.