Oh my God a human
You've come here so soon and
The place is such a mess
I barely got dressed and oh my God the cameras are watching

Oh my God my hair
Alphys stop that stare-ing
You don't want to scare them
It's just I can't even deal come on Alphys don't be weird

So, I'm Alphys, hi!
I'm not a bad guy!
I could be a guide!
'Cause I'm the royal scientist, I know this place!

I've been watching you!
Seeing a human who
Went through with attitude
Just fills me with confidence, and not at all at your expense and

I'll take you to the castle
It would be no hassle
Know what I mean?

Well, there's a little issue
See I made an artificial
Killing machine

There's no need to worry, though
You have me right here so
You'll survive his rage!

Though I'll lead from the rear
I'll still be here, even when
Mettaton steals the stage!

I'll lead the way
Like in anime
You can trust me
Mew Mew Kissy

Cutie's my favorite
Dangit, Alphys, quit it!
Um, sorry, hang on

Here'S Mettaton!