This morning it occurred to me,
I might not look quite like a natural blonde.
And i can't help but feel conned.

The picture on the package showed a model with no baggage,
Promising wild sex and marriage,
With a big color chart wand.

This morning it occurred to me
I never will quite have a supermodel's legs,
(never in a million years),
Unless i cut each one in half.

Become half an octopus or to,
Become synonymous with cocaine,
Glamour, riches, beauty and crack.

I took a trip to the national gallery for,
There was something more refreshing in what ruben saw.

My supermodel's legs,
Think they were plucked,
From a rubenesque world,
(ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah).

My supermodel's legs
Look pretty crap on a,
Five foot four girl,
(ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah).

Oh women, men and in-betweens,
Why don't you just stop dieting,
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer,
Drink beer, worrying is b-boring.

If people said he looked okay,
He wouldn't want much anyway.
And then you wouldn't stuff your face,
And look like king henry the 8th.

Present, we're told off every day,
For living our lives the wrong damn way.
"suck my leg, what's wrong?" i say,
If i want six coffees a day.

Oh women, men and in-betweens,
Why don't you just stop dieting.
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer,
Drink beer, worrying is boring me.

Oh, i get more turned on by,
Pink cupcakes and heroin.
Not rock and roll,
I'm much more mary poppins.

Oh, supermodel's legs,
They never held up much weight,
In my world, (ooh-ah, ooh-ah),
(ooh-ah, ooh-ah).

Oh, supermodel's legs,
'cause women should be women,
Girls should be allowed to be girls.
(ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah).