Its 1986 I'm in the first grade,
I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid.
I got to save the princess so he could get the pussy,
believe me Mario will get that ass, so fuck Luigi.
Mario really wants to get her in bed,
so bad that he's bustin' up bricks with his head.
He just wants sex,so forget the wedding bells,
jumping on mushroom men, and turtle shells.
Droppin down green pipes and secret passageways,
Makin his move to the end,
where the final castle lays.
Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher,
eat a white flower and spit balls of fire.
All these creatures that attack,won't cut mario slack.
Oh shit hold on i'll be right back...

I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer,
it's gotta be hard to get laid if your a plumber.
That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man,
and get him to the end so he can stop usin his hand.
Mario doesn't want to get hit, he'll shrink,
the princess won't fuck a little kid, I think.
So stay grown and attend to your own,
and evenually the princess will attend to your bone.

(Chorus)

Save the princess quick,
because she wants a dick,
and if you let her free,
you get the pussy.2x

Bowsers tryin to get head right now from the princess,
but if it was up to me that shit'll stop this instance.
cloud people throwin little spiked animals,
green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals.
i heard nobody yet run in the princess oven, and mario always says, virgins' i love 'em.
I hate the koopa troopas so im gonna run up,
and jump on the back of their shells till i get 1-up.
Im gonna keep playin and im never gonna quit,
cuz some kid in school told me you could see the princess tits.
I wanna beat it before any of my friends do,
so i could say i put pussy on mario's menu.
At the end of each level i jump and get the flag,
and say to myself another castle in the bag.
i hope bowsers ready cuz he's in for a ride,
and mario's serious when it comes to homicide.
The princess is a freak even though she has class,
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass.
i hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly,
and i hate the platfroms that fall out from below me.
Its all worth while,just to see mario smile
standing next of the princess
bucknaked profile,
It was my crusade to get mario laid.
Super Mario Brother's best game ever made.

(Chorus)