Go!
Books about Evanescence
(are not punk rock)
Guns ‘n’ Roses watches
(are not punk rock)
Hello Kitty iPod cases
(are not punk rock)
Rob Zombie lunchboxes
(are not punk rock)
Slipknot binder paper
(is not punk rock)
Tinker Bell pillowcases
(are not punk rock)
Led Zeppelin air fresheners
(are not punk rock)
Tupac incense burners
(are not punk rock)

CHORUS
Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!

Misfits candle tins
(are not punk rock)
ICP throw blankets
(are not punk rock)
Beaded Elvis curtains
(are not punk rock)
Talking Lamb Chop plush dolls
(are not punk rock)
AC/DC hair clips
(are not punk rock)
SpongeBob wristbands
(are not punk rock)
Sex Pistols boxer shorts
(are not punk rock)
The Dischord back catalogue?
Okay, maybe that’s punk rock… but!

REPEAT CHORUS
Hot Topic uses contrived identification with youth sub-cultures
to manufacture an antiauthoritarian identity and
make millions. That $8 you paid for the Mudvayne poster
would be better spent used for seeing your brother’s
friend’s band. DIY ethics are punk rock! Starting your
own label is punk rock! GG Allin was punk rock! But when
a crass corporate vulture feeds on mass consumer
culture, then spending Mommy’s money is not punk rock!



Rapgirl

The following is an entirely fictional account.
Any similarities between people living or dead is entirely
Coincidental… just kidding.

She fell from the sky on a black October night
She wrote these funny songs and every one was tight
She asked me for advice on jump-starting her career
But I’m staring in her eyes as she’s talking in my ear
Suburban rap queen, I wrote this song for you
Suburban rap queen, what’s an MC to do?
Suburban rap queen, every Biggie needs a Kim
Suburban rap queen, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win

CHORUS
Rapgirl, Rapgirl, I like you a lot
You’ve got what it takes to rock that Lars emo spot
Rapgirl, Rapgirl, now tell me what to do
When the playback is too quiet and the
Song’s already through

This is called a breakbeat!
It’s the musical element hip-hop
Was founded on back in 1969.
That’s educational.

She fell from the sky with a superhero icon
We battled in the studio like, “Hey, yo, is this mic on?”
I went down for the count, she went up on the beat
I told her she was hot because stuff like that is sweet
She attacked me with her similes like killer bees at a park
I came back with a metaphor, an angry great white shark
The bass line that she struck threw me flat on my back
So I came back with a track in a lyrical attack

REPEAT CHORUS

Because girls are so confusing, and I guess they’ll always be
I should just become a monk, resign to celibacy
Then I’d never have to worry about what a hug might mean
See these girls who want to be your friend
May be just what they seem
We had burritos in your dorm and talked about Dizzee Rascal
We wrote a song together, recorded it, and that’s all
Romantic love is fear of waking up alone
In Redwood City with platonic voice mail on your phone

REPEAT CHORUS

Rapgirl, Rapgirl (Rapgirl, Rapgirl)
Suburban rap queen,
I wrote this song for you
Rapgirl, Rapgirl (Rapgirl, Rapgirl)
Suburban rap queen,
What’s an MC to do?


BY:BRUNO FANES