Well I met a girl named Mary-Lou, her dress was green, her eyes were blue,
I said to her, "Hey darlin', look at you."
She smiled at me, she looked so fine, her shapely body was divine,
I couldn't help but look at her behind.
Now she had to buy some underwear, asked if I could take her there,
I said "Of course, my love, now don't despair."
At that she sort of grinned at me, she put her hand upon my knee,
I thought about how lucky I could be.

Well it's a long long road to nowhere, when you're traveling alone,
It's a long and empty freeway, if you end up on your own.
When you've been to all the places, and there's nowhere left to roam,
Go find yourself a woman and bring her home.

So I turned and said to Mary-Lou, "I really wanna marry you",
I wondered if she felt the same way too.
She hesitated for a while, and after, she began to smile,
She said, "Yes, you can walk me down the aisle."
I looked at her in disbelief, 'cause it was such a great relief,
To have her say she'd marry me at all.
So then we went to celebrate, got back home at half past eight,
Then we went to bed to procreate.

Well it's a long long road to nowhere, when you're traveling alone,
It's a long and empty freeway, if you end up on your own.
When you've been to all the places, and there's nowhere left to roam,
Go find yourself a woman and bring her home.

So we went into the wedding store, looked at rings, found three or four,
We saw so many, now her finger's sore.
Dress was such a perfect fit, but then we noticed it was split,
And then I said to Mary-Lou, "Oh darn!"
Sunday was our wedding day, luckily it went okay,
Just as well I didn't have to pay.
Now we live up on the farm, lots of haystacks, big old barn,
Which brings me to the ending of this yarn, oh yeah.