Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost its wheel
*scratch* And the Joker fucked your mom!

Right in the ass

Hey, hey, little girls and boys
What's on your list for this year?
Teddy bears and lots of gifts
Well too fucking bad you greedy little bitch!
You're getting razorblades
Stalking of hand grenades
And in your sleep tonight
I'm gonna cum on your face!

You're not getting anything for christmas, you fucking whore
The milk was sour and the cookies sucked
So thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
You're not getting anything for christmas. you fucking whore
Santa's pissed and he's taking names, and you're first in line

(Later we'll have some fucking pie, and we'll do some caroling)

Put that cookie down
Put that cookie down, motherfucker!

[Peter Griffin:]
"As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. "

Santa's pissed and he's coming to town
He's taking names and he's throwing down

Wicked witch of felling asleep
You smell like you're not going to like what you see
Big brothers gonna shove it up your ass
1, 000 oinks scratching at the field of dignity you
You'd always love meat, you'll see lets see what anti-gravity says
Preachers says to get the fuck out of the way
That's when he looked for duke, spotsburg, he saw excitement
You like that dancing, you like that prancing, add on dixon
You hate comet, you hate cupid, fucking Donner and blitzen
What did you expect, go harder, bitch
You fucking donner go hug a fucking light switch
Some people never thought that coppers would run out
Go hold your breath and send Santa back to the slut house

5 - severed heads in a box
4 - bitches on his cock
3 - beds of nails
2 - bullets
1 - gun
Broken candycanes
Stalking of coal and bad grades
You better watch out

(Bend ya ova, I'ma lube ya up, gonna stick that tree right up yo' ass)

You're not getting anything for christmas, you fucking whore
The milk was sour and the cookies sucked
So thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
You're not getting anything for christmas, you fucking whore
Santa's pissed and he's taking names, and you're first in line
Bitch!

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal