Hey, how you doin' (ooh)
Thanks for coming to my studio apartment
Got some shit to say (that's right)

The times we've had
The times we've missed
The times we've embraced
And the times we've kissed

The times we've loved
And the times we've laughed
Now it's time
To accept my shaft

Wo-oah!
My shaft

The times we've spent
The times we've shared
The times we've shown each other
Just how much we care

The times we've lived
All the times for reflection
Now you must survive
My thunderous erection

Wo-oah
It's enough of a shaft
My shaft

OO-oo-oo-ooh!
OO-oo-oo-ooh!

Don't leave, don't run! you are the only one!
I can be myself around!
I've come undone! you are the only one!
Who can lift my heart up off the ground!
The times behind
And the times foretold
Forgive me if I'm being
Just a bit too bold

But our sweet love
Won't be forsaken
Once you are
Gargling my bacon

Ooh, the times we've seen
And the times ahead
Grab a couple pillows
And get on that bed

You'll want to lay back
And clear your calendar
Once I introduce you to my friend
Excalibur
(excalibur, excalibur)

You take me higher! you set my loins afire!
You are the slam pig I desire!
Dear god, I'll plow... you all around the house!
'cause you lift my heart up off the ground!

Lift my heart up off the ground
But try find a way to incorporate
The shaft while you're doing so
Actually, you know what?
Really concentrate on the shaft
More-so than the, uh, than the heart
The shaft should definitely be your main focus
Can't stress that enough