I was riding the prairie
When out of the blue I could see
There were two dozen Indians
Starting to close up on me
There was no place I could run
And I never carry a gun
So I cried for help

Chorus:
And along came Hop-Along-Cassidy,
Maverick, and Billy The Kidd
I'd have been lost if they hadn't
Shown up as they did
And there was even Doc Holiday,
Buffalo Bill, Jesse James
And three hundred cavalry
But I can't remember their names

I was safe in my cabin
And thinking of going to bed
When an Indian tomahawk
Stuck in the wall by my head
I looked through the window and saw
There were three thousand Indians or more
So I cried for help

(Chorus)

But one day I was caught and
Was taken to see Running Bear
But we got on so well that
He told me that I could stay there
And according to Indian law
I could have me a choice of a squaw
I needed no help!

But along came Hop-Along-Cassidy,
Maverick, and Billy The Kidd
I'd have been fine if they hadn't
Shown up as they did
And there was even Doc Holiday,
Buffalo Bill, Jesse James
And three hundred cavalry
But I can't remember their names