Good evening.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
We have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.

Welcome to station WEFUNK, better known as We-Funk,
Or deeper still, the Mothership Connection.
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
Dealers of funky music.
P.Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb.

Coming to you directly from the Mothership
Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P.Funk-power.
So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums.
And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker.
My motto is:

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up. (wants to get funked up)
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk (yeah)
I want my funk uncut. (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

WEFUNK, y'all.
Now this is what I want you all to do:
If you got faults, defects or shortcomings,
You know, like arthritis, rheumatism or migraines,
Whatever part of your body it is,
I want you to lay it on your radio, let the vibes flow through.
Funk not only moves, it can re-move, dig?
The desired effect is what you get
When you improve your Interplanetary Funksmanship.
Sir Lollipop Man! Chocolate coated, freaky and and habit forming.
Doin' it to you in 3-D,
So groovy that I dig me.
Once upon a time called Now!
Somebody say, "Is there funk after death?"
I say, "Is Seven Up?"
Yeah, P.Funk!

Make my funk the P.Funk (uncut funk!)
I want my funk uncut (P.Funk!)
Make my funk the P.Funk (uncut)
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut. (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

Make my funk the P.Funk (make mine)
I want my funk uncut (the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk (hah!)
I wants to get funked up. (WEFUNK, y'all)
I want the bomb, (home of the bomb)
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk stepped on (Don't step on my funk)
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home

Yeah, I dig!
Let me put my sunglasses on.
That's the law around here, you got to wear your sunglasses.
So you can feel cool.
Gangster lean.
Y'all should dig my sun-rooftop.
Well, allright. Hey I was diggin' on y'alls funk for awhile.
Sounds like it got a three on it though, to me.
Then I was down south and I heard some funk with some main ingredients
Like Doobie Brothers, Blue Magic, David Bowie.
It was cool,
But can you imagine Doobiein' your funk? Ho!
WEFUNK, we funk.
Make my funk the P.Funk (ho!)
I want my funk uncut (oh, make mine)
Make my funk the P.Funk (yeah)
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk (P.Funk, y'all)
Don't want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P.Funk
(Home of the extraterrestrial brothers)
Before I take it home.

Gettin' deep.
Once upon a time called Right Now
Ain't it funky now
Far 'round
Hey, doin' it to ya in the earhole

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up. (I want the bomb)
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
Don't want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home
Yeah

We're not leavin' y'all, I want you all to stay tuned for Starchild
Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
Don't want my funk stepped on (oh, make mine)
Make my funk the P.Funk (I wants to get funked up)
Before I take it home

Don't stop, get down
Talk!
Blow your horn
Peee-youuu!
Wants to get funked up
Well, allright!

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb, (P.Funk)
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut.
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut.
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home

Welcome to station WEFUNK, better known as We-Funk,
Or deeper still, the Mothership Connection.
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
Dealers of funky music.
P.Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb.

Lollipop Man here, alias the Long-Haired Sucker.
Chocolate coated, freaky and habit-forming
Coming to you in 3-D
So groovy that I dig me
Yeah!
Yeah! P.Funk!