Why can't I get paid for doing nothing?
Why can't I be a lazy millionaire?
Why can't I get rich
Without having to dig ditches
Without all that sweat and toil and wear and tear?
Oh, why can't I get paid for doing nothing, nothing?
Why can't I get paid for doing nothing?

Why can't I have lots and lots of money?
When will I have more than odds and ends?
Why won't daddy give to me
A house, maybe a factory
And the names of his reactionary friends?
Oh, why can't I get paid for doing nothing, nothing?
Why can't I get paid for doing nothing?

I want to be a man of leisure
Sitting on a pile of treasure
Looking for and finding pleasure
Everywhere I turn

Well, why can't I be rich and fat and bloated
Before I work my fingers to the bone
I'll be a meglomaniac
Stab all my best friends in the back
Be greedy and die bitter and alone
Oh, why can't I get paid for doing nothing, nothing?
Why can't I get paid for doing nothing?

Absolutely nothing
Sitting on my La-Z-Boy with the remote control
Idle hands are the devil's playthings
Play with me, Satan
I want to do nothing in the Bahamas
Oh, why can't I get paid for doing nothing?