He was brought up like a sailor
A pirate of the streets
Stealing food and booze and dirty magazines

The rainy days come, the rainy days go
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!

She was coddled like a princess
And promised as a bride
Lady jack'o'lanterns' secret life to hide

So through the window
She creeped when her father fell asleep
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!

She bats her eyes and lies about her rent
He used the coin he stole to buy the drinks
Never thought they'd find love drowning sorrows at the pub
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!

He never made it on a spoke
She only borrowed from the truth
They were the greatest match that hell had ever seen

But if you reap what you so it doesn't matter where you go
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!

She bats her eyes and lies about her rent
(about the rent)
He used the coin he stole is buying all the drinks
(all the drinks)
It's the devils first man and a drunken runaway
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!

A round for our two lovers
In this barstool fairytale
Givin' something for us bastards to believe

You never think you'll find love drowning sorrows at the pub
With whiskey, and liars, and thieves!

A toast to those who stole another day (one more day!)
A round to those who lied to get away (one more drink?)

And to those who found love drowning sorrows at the pub
Some day you'll find love drowning sorrows at the pub
Never thought they'd find love drowning sorrows at the pub
The whiskey, the liar, the thief!