I have a fag on my break, a pint for my lunch
A job that I'd leave and a boss I'd then punch
But I mean what I say when it comes to the crunch
I ain't going nowhere this year

Don't need no direction, I don't need no map
I don't intend moving from where I am sat
I got what I need right here in my lap
I ain't going nowhere this year

Well I got myself a wanderlust that just can't be denied
Plane ticket I got me booked, that taxi's parked outside
But travel's been cancelled, my happiness pied
And I ain't going nowhere this year

I got a Radio Times, a TV remote
But a clown on the box for which I did not vote
Don't mean to concern ya but it's Murder He Wrote
And I ain't going nowhere this year

We're in that tiny back garden with a bloody Great Dane
Jumping at fence again and again and again
The normal have lost it, the sensible's gone insane
And no-one's going nowhere this year

Well I got myself a wanderlust that just can't be denied
Plane ticket I got me booked, that taxi's parked outside
But travel's been cancelled, my happiness pied
And I ain't going nowhere this year

My family and friends, they keep ringing my bell
But my sat-nav is broken, my spirit as well
The only place I'll be is back in my shell
Cause I ain't going nowhere this year

Cause I ain't going nowhere this year
Cause I ain't going nowhere this year
I ain't going nowhere this year