Your new fella's jealous of your old fella
Your old fella's jealous of your new
Feels like they've both got your heart in a vice
There's very little that you can do

One of them needs actually weaning
The other won't say what he's feeling
The wings of love are closing in
From shag pile carpet to ceiling

It's out with the old and it's in with the new
Not with that partner that's stuck on your shoe
Not onwards and upwards but backwards and down
If your current or ex is a clown

Your new fella's angry with your old fella
Your old fella's angry as well
You feel like filling your gloves with blades
And waiting for referee's bell

Is anyone else in this tight fix
These four walls looking like six
Some of us hemmed in by love
But I've got additional bricks

It's out with the old and it's in with the new
Not with that partner that's stuck on your shoe
Not onwards and upwards but backwards and down
If your current or ex is a clown

Freedom was something to which I aspired
But out of the frying pan into the fire
Out of the kettle and into hot bath
Your mates are single, they're having a laugh
The clubs are closed, the taxis are gone
They're having a laugh and you're having none
They're out dancing in the coolest new place
Surrounded by fools and you've run out of mace
Run out of mace

Your new fella's checking your messages
Your old fella's parked on your drive
They're vying for your total attention
Like a couple of under 5's