You see Perry the Platypus,
my brother Roger is at the top
of a very long list of people I despise. Vanessa, music please

I bear lots of animosity to bellhops
They never bring my luggage up on time
And taxi drivers really tax my patience
If they vanished, would it really be a crime?

I don't like meter maids or underwater welders
Health fanatic cooks or camera crews!
Not fond of monks or yoga teachers
Or sports fans in the bleachers!
And I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you! (pigeons start cooing)

There are lots of horrid people on this planet
That I would love to give a lashing to! (pigeons stop cooing)

But my goody two-shoes brother
The favorite of my mother
Is the one I want to smother
In a ton of pigeon goo!

Yes, my goody two-shoes brother
The favorite of my mother
He's the one I want to smother
Thank you, Sir! I'll have another!
He's the one I want to smother
In a ton of pigeon goo-oo!

You see, you see how I held that last note, good, huh?