I was sitting with a bloody head
Outside of X
At the Berkeley Square
In my proud boy dumbness
Half drunk, half sexed,
Half conscious
Lenny had said, "Shouldn't you check it?"
I said, checking is for wimps

So I flew into the hedge
Up and above
Looking at the blue skies below
Flying like a dove
I was head over heels
When I hit the manhole cover
Kathleen walked up, said, "You alright?"
No, I'm in pain, duh.

Well, sleeveless shirts
And catholic school skirts
"Small girls, big cars", Al says
For me it's the other way around
She said, "Just show me where it hurts"
I said, you can pick me up and take me home
Or just join me on the ground

And we could have some kids
If we're lucky they'll be gay
And we could be proud parents
In the pride parade
I swear I almost cry
Every year when they go by
If I'd only been a girl instead of
A guy,
Kathleen.