A B C D E F G H I gotta' gal wears her toenails long.
Drives a red Barracuda, singin' meat packer songs
And she ain't from Kalamazoo.

A B C D E F G H I gotta' friend lived in a Mercedes-Benz.
Then a 55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends/
And the plates say Kalamazoo.

He had a steady job and watched what he spent.
He'd say I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent.
I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent
and buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo.

I knew a guy that mangled his hand,
and he went from pipe fittin' to a hot dog stand.
They say last year he cleared fifty grand
selling dogs round Kalamazoo.

She turned to the world with a bastard child.
Said, "I just can't handle him he's too damn wild".
But the years and the liquor have made him mild.
And he lays around in Kalamazoo.