[Intro:] Mista Wells
1-2-3! In the place to be!
As it is plain to see, we be the MC's!
On the microphone, and I do it swell
I go by the name of Mista Wells!
Standin' next to me, on the M-I-C,
Is my main man, Smile-Lee!
Standin' next to him, he do what he like,
He go by the name of Nephew Mike!
And last but not least, number one in the crew:
He goes by the name of Howard Who!

[Verse 1]
[Wells] I know this chick named Tammy, a real fly shortie
She gets real naughty when she sips on a 40
And when she gets tipsy, she acts like a stunt
'Cause a 40 and a blunt, that's all she really wants
[Smile] I know this freak named Bertha, the town cum-slurper
I fucked her in the ass till she screamed bloody murder
And if you see Bertha, tell her I'm gonna hurt her
'Cause she gave me some shit that my doctor never heard of
[Mike] I met this honey named Anna at the Copacabana
Sippin' Tropicana in a calm-like manner
Just like a hammer, I really tried to slam her
Man, oh man, she drained my stamina!
[H. Who] I know this dip named Jessica; Bimos used to mess with her
It really didn't matter, so I still slept with her
It was all good, in that she gave up the kitty-cat
And when I was done, I said, "Good lookin' black!"

[Verse 2]
[Smile] I met this chick named Nessa, who favors Uncle Fester
I beat the bitch bloody 'cause she stole from my dresser
Bruises, knots, and multi-lacerations
I almost killed the bitch; my lawyer got me probation
[Mike] I met this girl named Kim at the all-natural gym
Tryin' to push up was this guy named Tim
Who will win, is it me or him?
Gave her a grin and I was IN!
[H. Who] Check it, I know this dip named Chiniqua, she lives in Masapequa
Got a body boomin' like a JBL speaker
I tried to get her, my nephew had hit her
So instead, I bagged her sister!
[Wells] I know this honey named Brenda, she lives Down South
Took her in the alley, put my nuts in her mouth
And when she got finished, I bent that ass over,
Pulled up her skirt and proceeded to stroke her!

[Verse 3]
[Mike] I know this shortie named Judy with a really big booty
Got howdy-doody in my jacuzzi
The shorty got moody and that really didn' suit me
So now I'm tutti fruitti with her friend named Susie
[Wells] Now there's Christine, the freak of my dreams
Who gets real freaky with a can of whipped cream
Took her to the crib, I had to do it quick
And when I got finished she was jockin' cool dick!
[Smile] I met a chick named Irma, no ass firmer
When it came to suckin' dicks she was a real fast learner
She packed an automatic, she always had static
People call her Irma, but I call her Hump-a-matic
[H. Who] I know this dip named Tasha, she worked at Red Lobster
She wanted to get nice so I bought her some Vodka
Gave her a joint, went to Huds Point
Then I drove her wild like AJ Floyd
[Smile] I know a freak named Lucy, her lips were mad juicy
She got sent away because she ate a baby's coochie
She was a real hottie, she acted kinda snotty
She worked at the mall, but she stole a dead body
[Wells] There's this honey named Angie with a fat ass-crack
Killing Me Softly, like Roberta Flack
But when I saw her sister, it really didn't matter
So I had to step off, 'cause the booty was FATTER!!