As I drove down on 65, I was cruisin' down that old grapevine
Well, I must have been doin' at least about 95
Well out there on the side of the road all broke down and
Who do you think was standin' around
But the greatest country singer alive!

I'll fix your flat tire Merle
Don't ya get your sweet country pickin' fingers all covered with erl
Cause you're a honky, I know, but Merle you got soul
And I'll fix your flat tire Merle

Well I hear you had an adventurous youth, makin' love in a telephone booth
And I even hear you did a little stretch in jail
But now you got a big ranch house with a bar
And eight, nine, ten of them fancy cars
And every other little check comin' in the mail

I'll fix your flat tire Merle
Don't ya get your sweet country pickin' fingers all covered with erl
Cause you're a honky, I know, but Merle you got soul
And I'll fix your flat tire Merle

Now I heard all them records ya did, makin' fun of us long haired kids
And now ya know we don't care what ya think... Merle,
If you're gonna call the world your home
Ya know you're gonna have to get out and get stoned
An' it's better with a joint than with a drink, I think

So I'll fix your flat tire Merle
Don't ya get your sweet country pickin' fingers all covered with erl
Cause you're a honky, I know, but Merle you got soul
And I'll fix your flat tire Merle
So I'll fix your flat tire Merle