one night while i lay sleeping
a phantom ghost came creeping
he entered through my door
and tiptoed across the floor
and when he reached where i lay
he leaned right to my ear
so softly he seemed to say
his words were very clear

hi me he said, how you been
its been so long slap some skin
my goodness how you've grown
and hasn't time really flown
i've come to tell you what's what
and really fuck with your head
tell you what's hot and what's not
you're gonna wish you were dead

[Chorus]
hello - welcome to my ego
wherever i go, he goes
ain't it just so creepy, freaky-deaky
oh no - now we're out to control
acting like an arsehole
welcome to the show!

now looking in the mirror
face to face with the horror
its Apocalypse Now
but starring steven chow
this guy is really scary
this weirdo's freaking me out
his asian body's hairy
its fricking creeping me out

i don't know who this dude thinks
he's trying to fool and convince
his bullshit just doesn't stick
and how big his dick is
how sick his shit is (shit)
how slick his hit is (hit)
how fit his bitch is (fit)
think he should mind his business

[Chorus]

last night right after the show
i had to let myself go
i got too needy wouldn't leave me
just a second alone
but i still sleep with myself
thats kinda complicated
i steal her blankets as well
that gets me so frustrated

no touchy touch but who knows
what goes on while i'm sleeping
block your nose slide in and watch
me softly gently breathe in
write poetry and sweet prose
and sent it to myself
we'll always be together
cause there's nobody else

[Chorus] x 3

hello
yes, that's me
yeah yeah
...
g'day mate
do you know what day it is?
are you going mad?
are you getting much sleep?