I've been self-diagnosing all of my problems
Carrying all my stress in the jaw
I've got all sorts of health products
Aspirin and robo, and my new skincare wash

It couldn't be excessive caffeine
Dehydration or lack of sleep
I need something real heavy

Wooaa!

I've been banging my head to the beat of trauma
Cynic and bandage by natural law
I've got all sorts of beauty products
Face-paint and polish, resistant to the wash

Now I don't trust my Tylenol
To save my ass when I mess up

Now I doubt my neti pot
Could even clear up all my snot
I need to fix myself

Wooaa!

I've been self-diagnosing all of my problems
Carrying all my stress in the jaw
I've got all sorts of beauty products
Face-paint and polish, resistant to the wash

Now I don't trust my Tylenol
To save my ass when I mess up

Now I doubt my neti pot
Could even clear up all my snot
I need to fix myself

Wooaa!