[Mark] There's another way Say something -- anything
[Joanne (into the mike)] Test -- one, two three --
[Mark] Anything but that
[Joanne] This is weird
[Mark] It's weird
[Joanne] Very weird
[Mark] Fuckin' weird
[Joanne] I'm so mad That I don't know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I'm with you
[Mark] Feel like going insane? Got a fire in your brain? And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
[Joanne] As a matter of fact --
[Mark] Honey, I know this act It's called the 'Tango Maureen' The Tango Maureen It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round As she keeps you dangling
[Joanne] You're wrong
[Mark] Your heart she is mangling
[Joanne] It's different with me
[Mark] And you toss and you turn 'Cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
[Joanne] I think I know what you mean
[Both] The Tango Maureen
[Mark] Has she ever pouted her lips And called you 'Pookie'
[Joanne] Never
[Mark] Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
[Joanne] This is spooky Did you swoon when she walked through the door?
[Mark] Every time -- so be cautious
[Joanne] Did she moon over other boys --?
[Mark] More than moon --
[Joanne] I'm getting nauseous
[Mark] Where'd you learn to tango?
[Joanne] With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's. And you?
[Mark] With Nanette Himmelfarb. The Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.
[They switch, and Joanne leads.]
It's hard to do this backwards.
[Joanne] You should try it in heels! She cheated
[Mark] She cheated
[Joanne] Maureen cheated
[Mark] Fuckin' cheated
[Joanne] I'm defeated I should give up right now
[Mark] Gotta look on the bright side With all of your might
[Joanne] I'd fall for her still anyhow
[Both] When you're dancing her dance You don't stand a chance Her grip of romance Make you fall
[Mark] So you think, 'Might as well'
[Joanne] "Dance a tango to hell"
[Both] 'At least I'll have tangoed at all' The Tango Maureen Gotta dance till your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end -- you can't leave her But the end it will come Still you have to play dumb Till you're glum and you bum And turn blue