How you doin' bert?
"Wel, not so good Charlie. My back's gone out and I cut my finger kinda
gnarly. The job's the same and so's the boss. He's still a big ass and my
wallet got lost. My wife's sick in bed she says she'll never get well and
all these kids today have gone to hell and all that government paperwork
caught up with me, had to hire a beancounter for an outrageous fee. And I
don7t know if the chicken or the egg is to blame, but all things
considered, I guess I can't complain..."

"Cheer up," Charlies said, "things could be worse."

"Well, yeah, I know, but did I tell you that my landlord's a cop, my
neighbor's insane, but all things considered, I guess I can't compalin..."

CHORUS
Out on the water
Where the sailing men all go
The water's high while all the fish swim low

"You know what Bert," Charlie said, "you got the wrong attitude. Sometimes
life's a big game and tthe paths you can choose. Things may go wrong, but
ya gotta stand tall."

"Well I know," Bert said, "but well...that ain't all. My hair's falling
out, the roof leaks when it rains, but all things considered, I guess I
can't complain..."

CHORUS

"You know what Bert," Charlie said, "you're a real loser, so I'll see you
next week if you live 'til then."

And a Bert walked out on the sidewalk, ten floors up, two men lost control
of a hoist at just the right time, and a big Steinway grand flattened
Bert like a dime. And as a crowd gathered 'round and asked, what was his
name? and could it be the chicken or the egg to blame/ Well, the only
thing heard was that all things considered, he really couldn't complain.

So if you're a loser in life and your gun's out of ammo, just remember
this story about Bert and the piano. 'Cause if you can7t string the bow
and you're clean out of resin, someone may have planned for you a music
lesson. So keep your eyes to the sky, it could be a brand name, and
remember all things considered, you really can't complain....